I hate my lawnmower, and not in the way most people hate their lawnmowers. I hate my lawnmower for sucking. The thing broke down and had to be serviced after being less than a year old. Then it broke down again after another summer of use. I spent all last year borrowing my parents' mower because I refused to take mine in for servicing because I was pissed at it for not working. Which I realize is completely nonsensical, but there it is. This year I've just been paying somebody to mow my lawn for me. The best thirty bucks I spend every couple weeks. Because as I drive around and see other people mowing their lawns, they all look absolutely miserable doing it. Nobody enjoys the task. Nobody wakes up on a Saturday morning and thinks "Thank god the weekend is here now I get to mow the lawn!" I used to spend the entire time I was mowing repeatedly muttering the f-word under my breath. But no more. I've freed myself from lawn duty. So maybe I should thank my mower for sucking. If it didn't I'd be one of those miserable bastards too.
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