8/31/2012: Tape Measure

I use this tape measure when I want to know how long something is. Now get your minds out of the gutter perverts.

8/30/2012: Antacid

I never call these "antacids." Nobody ever does to they? "Do you have an antacid?" Sounds stupid. They're Rolaids, or more specifically Target knock-off Rolaids. And I sometimes pop them like candy, which led me to discover that you CAN in fact overdose on antacids (sort of) and chest pains of the "Am I having a heart attack?" variety may be caused by that.

See also: TKO Claritin, TKO Saline Solution, Mini Garden Gnome

8/29/2012: Speaker

Computer speaker so I can still listen to my iTunes even though my Nano was stolen out of my car a few summers back.

See Also: Samsung Computer Monitor

8/28/2012: Screwdriver (and chew toy)

This Phillips head screwdriver fell victim to Darwin while he was teething. Normally he doesn't chew things he isn't supposed, outside a little damage during that period when his adult teeth were coming in. There's this screwdriver, a baseboard corner in the kitchen, a small tear on the living room chair (which I repaired by coloring in the gash with a Sharpie!) and one of my hats. Instead of chewing he will lick some things obsessively... which is why I keep my bedroom door closed during the day. Have you ever laid down on a soaked pillow a dog has spent an hour licking? I have.

See Also: Giant Kong, Folding Hex Wrench Set

8/27/2012: Dryer

Completing the pairing, here the dryer to yesterday's washer. You can't really have one without the other. Well, you CAN, but why would you? Unless all the power goes out like in that new show Revolution (which I'm really getting geeked for) it's not like I'm going to hang up my clothes to dry. I do have the clothesline poles embedded in cement in the back yard, but these day they only serve as ideal homes for wasps.

See Also: Washing Machine; Laundry Needing to be Folded

8/26/2012: Washing Machine

One of the best things about home ownership is having my very own washing machine. No more sharing a washer and dryer with the rest of the apartment complex, having the machines already be in use when wanting to do a load or not being able to start a load after 10PM. Anytime I want to I can wash my clothes! That's the American Dream baby!

8/25/2012: Pen Cup

It's a cup. With pens in it. I call it pen cup.

See Also: Scissors; Cloverleaf Dairy Bottle

8/24/2012: Picture Frame

A small picture frame, made of white stone or bone or something. Probably not ivory what with me buying it at Target a few years ago. Has an old picture of my grandparents (mother's side) in it that I took out of a Christmas ornament.

See Also: Cousins Picture

8/23/2012: Floor Lamp

This floor lamp is my living room's main lighting source. There's an overhead ceiling fixture but I don't use it much. And while this lamp looks old, it's faux old. That stained glass shade? Plastic. 

See also: Cyclones Cap

8/22/2012: Bourne Trilogy

Whenever I watch the Bourne movies the same thing always happens: I decide I want to become an international assassin. Unfortunately I have yet to come across an "assassin wanted" job posting on Monster or in the paper. After seeing Bourne Legacy last weekend I finally had to break down and buy the original Bourne trilogy, which for some reason I didn't already own but wanted to rewatch. Matt Damon absolutely kicks ass in these movies, like MacGyver, but a MacGyver that might just kill you with a rolled up magazine. 

Note: I also think this may be the first DVD purchase I've made so far this year... in general I just don't want to own movies anymore, but made an exception for these.

See Also: Wooden Box, Coffee Table

8/21/2012: Checkbook

Gather round children and gaze upon the bill paying method of the days of yore... the checkbook! I write two checks a month usually, one to pay my mortgage (their online bill pay site is jacked) and one to pay the cable bill (because the bastards charge a $5 fee to pay online! Suck it Mediacom.).

See also: Rectangular Baskets, Bookcase

8/20/2012: Hairbrush

A hairbrush. Because just like Blair on Facts of Life my hair is my crowning glory. I've had it so long I don't even remember where or when I got it.

See also: Beard Trimmer,  Toe Nail Clippers

8/19/2012: Gear

Why in the hell would anybody buy an old rusty gear on a stick? Cause it looks cool, that's why. I must be falling for this industrial trend I hear is hot right now. And I am of course trendy above all else. Acid wash on jeans is still in right? The gear came complete with wooden handle, so I'm assuming it was used to crank... something. I'll guess corn grinder. Farm related most likely, this is Iowa after all. Picked this up yesterday while out looking for a coffee table. Actually saw it awhile ago and have wanted it since. Resisted buying it because... well... see the first sentence. But now it's art! Just haven't decided quite where to put it yet...

See also: Ladder Shelves, Buddha Head on a Stick

8/18/2012: DVD Player

No I haven't bothered upgrading to BluRay. At the time I last needed a new DVD player the marginally better performance of a Blu-Ray (and yes, that's really all it gives you, and yes I've seen them in action) wasn't worth the extra cost. Of course, now they cost the same. So when this one eventually dies I'll "upgrade." But the way things are going, everything will be digital before that happens. The DVD Player shares space with my new TiVo behind the false "drawers" in my Anderson Media Console.

8/17/2012: Plaid Shorts

Today I had 6 hours of conference calls on my schedule at work. On exciting topics like Line of Business Impacts of HAFA Supplemental Directive 12.05. So I took the day off and lounged around in my plaid shorts all day. In fact these have been my "go to" shorts most of this summer.

See Also: Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock T-Shirt

8/16/2012: Scissors

This scissors beats paper but loses to rock.

See also: Rock Paper Lizard Scissors Spock T-Shirt

8/15/2012: Mixing Bowl

Tonight I used this mixing bowl to make up some broccoli salad. I kept buying this deli broccoli salad and frankly it was pricey as hell, so figured I could make it myself. And yes, there is an app for that. I didn't really worry about exact measurements, but here's a rough recipe (and it's yummy):

1 cup or so mayo

1/3 cup or so of raw sugar

1 splash of vinegar

3 Broccoli heads, chopped into small pieces

Some diced onion

A handful of raisins and a handful of sunflower seed

3 or 4 strips of bacon zapped until crumble-able into bits

Mix together the first three, toss with the rest, chill and then eat.

Also check out my equally tasty cucumber salad recipe.

8/14/2012: Contact Case

This contact case is where I store, what else, my contacts when they aren't on my eyeballs. Now for those off you that wear glasses cause you can't stand the thought of touching your eye... stop being pussies and get contacts.

8/13/2012: Pitcher

I use this pitcher to refill the aquarium when its water level gets low and I usually just leave it sitting on top of the aquarium between uses. At one time there was a lid but that disappeared long long ago.

See Also: Aquarium

8/12/2012: Shelves

Don't tell these shelves but I bought their replacement earlier today at World Market so soon they'll be relegated to the basement (a week from tomorrow they were out of stock in the store but have more coming in). Currently they sit next to the television and have some of my DVD TV seasons sets along with some of the stuff I've posted before like yesterday's elephant book ends, and earlier items such as the metal clock and wooden turtle from my grandmother's house.

8/11/2012: Elephant Book Ends

I sure do have a lot of elephant stuff it seems. These elephant book ends are just the latest of several elephant items. Previously there's been my wooden elephant and my carved elephant box.

8/10/2012: Rectangular Baskets

These rectangular baskets sit on my bookcase and are there to hold old mass market paperback, back issues of magazines and other miscellaneous things. Usually my check book is in the there somewhere too, for when I'm feeling Amish and want to write a check.

See also: Bookcase, Wicker Storage Box

8/9/2012: Spoon

Spoon is the follow-up to my blockbuster post Fork. It was also the battle cry of The Tick.

8/8/2012: Oxi Clean Dishwasher Booster

With all due respect to the deceased Oxi Clean pitchman Billy Mays, the Oxi Clean Dishwasher Booster didn't do crap to get my dishes any cleaner despite the commercial claims of their new not-Billy Mays pitchman. I was getting a filmy white build-up on my glasses when running them through the dishwasher, even bought a special flat ended scrub brush to do them by hand. But as I'm not Amish doing dishes by hand doesn't really appeal to me. So I tried this. Didn't really work. I should probably just throw the rest of the bottle out... or leave it under the sink for years.

8/7/2012: Star Bowl

Usually the star bowl only comes out for special occasions, like my Flag Day party or for the Super Bowl. Currently it's on the counter because I had to get it out of the high cupboards when digging for a big plastic bowl to put tomatoes in. And just haven't bothered to put it back away. Don't worry, I'll put it on my list of things to do this weekend.

8/6/2012: Crabgrass Killer

What with 80-90% of my lawn being dead and brown it's probably been at least 6 weeks since it was mowed, if not a full two months. Unfortunately the 10-20% of my lawn that isn't dead and brown is made up of weeds, including crab grass. Which has gotten a little out of control in a few spots (what with me writing the lawn off and ignoring it now). So off to Ace I went Sunday afternoon to pick up a toxic chemical solution to my problems. This crabgrass killer even has a battery powered wand that dispenses the poison! Convenient and deadly.

See also: Sprinkler, Lawnmower

8/5/2012: Recycling Bin

It's (every other) Sunday night so that means it's time to do my part to save the world and put out the recycling bin. And I do want to save the world, it's where I keep all my stuff.

See also: Trash Can

8/4/2012: Name Tag

Someone reading my name tag in the dim light of the bar: "Mike Milik? Hmmmmm..." Then either a sudden look of recognition on their face or just as commonly a continued blank stare. "I'm sorry I don't remember you." "Don't feel bad I have no idea who you are either." I wore the name tag last night at my... this is hard to say... at my... c'mon... just say it... I wore this last night at my... 25-year high school reunion. 25 FUCKIN' YEARS MAN!!! "Where are you living now?" "Any kids?" "What do you do?"  Lather rinse repeat.

8/3/2012: Brown Notebook

When I'm feeling analog I like to jot things down in the brown notebook. Yes, I know there's an app for that but I still like the visceral feel of putting my thoughts down on actual paper. I tend to keep track of photo ideas and lists of random whatever here.

See Also: Carved Elephant Box; Cartman Mouse Pad

8/2/2012: Hoth Beer Stein

I still have a few remnants displaying my inner geek around the house, this Hoth beer stein being one. It sits on to of the fridge next to my R2D2 pepper mill. I don't think I've ever actually had anything to drink out of it, but based on this pic I should probably run it through the dishwasher...

See Also: Shark Oven Mitt

8/1/2012: Mini Garden Gnome

This mini garden gnome sits in one the potted plants I have over my sink. It's really only a matter of time before I start getting more full-sized lawn ornements for my yard to emulate one of my favorite houses when I was a kid. Down the street from me was a house that had literally dozens of various lawn ornaments all over the from yard - gnomes, deer, windmills, birdbaths, donkey... and tacky chintzy piece of lawn decor you could think of, this guy had it. I'd ride my bike down and just stare at the yard, trying to spot anything new that might have been added. And all I could think was "Some day... some day when I have my own house..."

See also: Gil Jr., Garden Jawa