11/2/2012: Iowa Egg Council Promotional Jar Opener

Normally I'd refer to this Iowa Egg Council promotional jar opener by it's colloquial name, a rubber husband. The idea being that women folk are too dainty and demure to open spaghetti sauce jars on their own, and lacking a husband, they require some rubber assistance. Apparently I am also dainty and demure.

Anyway, picked this item up at the Iowa State Fair this year, next to the hard-boiled eggs on a stick. Both were free... SCORE!

Although I don't know about the "Eggs: They Keep Getting Better!" Slogan. Do they? They pretty much are what they are and are what they've been since... they came first. Or was that the chicken? 

8/16/2012: Scissors

This scissors beats paper but loses to rock.

See also: Rock Paper Lizard Scissors Spock T-Shirt

7/26/2012 Mandolin Vegetable Slicer (with cucumber slices)

After peeling the veggies it's time to slice them up! What prompted me to pull out the mandolin vegetable slicer this week? I recently read an article about a BBQ that included a recipe for cucumber salad... and it sounded delicious (and, more importantly, really easy). So I made some... and it is! Make it yourself if you don't believe me, there's only four ingredients and it's addictively tasty. (You'll be freebasing it in the alley behind the local Kwik-E-Mart in no time.) 

Combine these items and let sit in fridge overnight:

1. 2 sliced cucumbers

2. 1 diced/sliced medium sized onion

3. 1 cup white vinegar

4. 1/2 cup sugar

That's it. 

See Also: Vegetable Peeler, Big Ass Metal Spatula

7/25/2012: Vegetable Peeler (with cucumber)

This vegetable peeler is actually one of three vegetable peelers I own. "Why would one person need three vegetable peelers? Who's he trying to impress?" you may ask. It wasn't intentional. Here's how it happened: when I need one I don't think I own one so I go out and buy one only to get home and realize there's already one (or two) in the random kitchen gadget drawer. I don't do a lot of vegetable peeling so it's not a regularly used item and gets forgotten.

See Also: Corkscrew/Bottle Opener, Milk Frother

5/16/2012: Pizza Cutter

I assume in every kitchen it's the same: the second drawer down is home to a random assortment of specialized kitchen gadgets such as pizza cutters, melon ballers or egg slicers.

See Also: Gadgets, Egg Slicer

4/7/2012: Scissors

As you can see I keep this pair of scissors in the kitchen to help me with my couponing. And by couponing I mean the once every month or so that I cut open the empty coffee bean bag to get the coupon printed on the inside of it when it's time to go and buy another bag of coffee beans. Other than that the only coupons I tend to use are the ones that are actually attached at the store to whatever it is I'm buying, and even those I tend to forget to use.

3/7/2012: Big Ass Metal Spatula

This big ass metal spatula is one of those left-behind-by-a-previous roommate items. I'm sure, being Pampered Chef and all, that it has some very specific high-end fancy purpose. It must, it comes with it's own protective plastic sheath after all. It's probably a specialty frittata flipper or something. But since I've never had much less made a frittata, it sits in the second drawer down in the kitchen.

Everyone has that drawer in the kitchen. Where miscellaneous rarely if ever used gadgets go. Recently my mother comments that she was afraid I'd run out of items to post. I assured her there was no danger in that happening any time soon, and in fact probably had two month's worth of stuff in the second drawer down in the kitchen alone. Not particularly interesting stuff, but stuff none the less.

2/29/2012: Corkscrew/Bottle Opener

Is it a corkscrew? Is it a bottle opener? It's neither alone but both together in one amazing corkscrew/bottle opener! Could mankind get any cleverer?

2/23/2012: Milk Frother

One of those silly single-use things you buy that generally sit unused in the second drawer down in most people's kitchens. But even considering that I use this milk frother fairly frequently. Mixes up chocolate milk quite well, with no splashing outside the glass. And technically these days it's chocolate lite vanilla Silk and sugar free Hershey's syrup.

Now you may be thinking to yourself "Why is a 40-something year old man regularly making himself chocolate milk?" And my response to you would be "Shut up and mind your own business. I can do whatever the hell I want."

1/17/2012: Egg Slicer

The kitchen does seem to fill up with gadgets and small appliances that have only one specific purpose doesn't it? Melon ballers. Quesadilla makers. Snoopy Sno Cone maker. The gadgets always gather in the second or third drawer down where they lie forgotten for years and the small appliances invariably end up shoved in the Cupboard of Rarely Used Small Kitchen Appliances that every kitchen seems to have. I swear my mother still has a fondue set that was received as a wedding gift(in an at the time stylish avocado green!) stuffed in the cupboard over the refrigerator. I have never seen this item used in my lifetime.

Despite that, however, I do regularly use my egg slicer. For what? To slice hard boiled eggs. Duh. I also sometimes will strum the wires like I'm playing a very small harp. See, I've been on a salad kick and the eggs go on the salad. Along with plenty of ranch dressing, ham cubes, shredded cheese and sunflower seeds. Once this salad kick is over, I'm sure the egg slicer will end up in the third drawer down in my kitchen. Forgotten for years.