8/6/2012: Crabgrass Killer

What with 80-90% of my lawn being dead and brown it's probably been at least 6 weeks since it was mowed, if not a full two months. Unfortunately the 10-20% of my lawn that isn't dead and brown is made up of weeds, including crab grass. Which has gotten a little out of control in a few spots (what with me writing the lawn off and ignoring it now). So off to Ace I went Sunday afternoon to pick up a toxic chemical solution to my problems. This crabgrass killer even has a battery powered wand that dispenses the poison! Convenient and deadly.

See also: Sprinkler, Lawnmower

7/12/2012: Raid Wasp & Hornet

Was sitting on the patio after work and a few moments later was thinking "Where the hell are all these wasps coming from?!?!" Few things make people flinch like a wasp buzzing anywhere in their vicinity. Maybe Katy Perry songs, but that's about it. So it was off to (where else) Target to pick up a can of Raid Wasp & Hornet killer. An hour or so later I was standing 10 feet back from the clothes-line pole the stinging bastards had taken up residence in soaking their nest in a steady stream of poison.

In addition to helping me kill the wasps and destroy their nest, the can of Raid provided a valuable Spanish lesson. Here's a few phrases you may need the next time you're traveling south of the border:

English: Kills the Entire Nest!

Spanish: Mata el Nido Entero!

English: Kills Wasps and Hornets on Contact!

Spanish: Mata Avispas y Avispones al Contacto!

English: Electrically Non-Conduction Up To 32,500 Volts

Spanish: No Conduce Electrcidad Hasta Por 32,500 Voltios

However, Raid in Spanish is still Raid.

See also: Raid House & Garden, Outdoor Coffee Table

6/20/2012: Raid

I don't know what the issue is, but in the last week or so I've been besieged by houseflies. Buzzing in the windows. Flying around the living room. Landing right in the middle of the TV screen and just staying there because they know you're not going to swat them when they're on the TV... Luckily I found a can of Raid under the sink. And it's potpourri scented to boot. Maybe I need to stop leaving steaks on the dining room table to age...