8/6/2012: Crabgrass Killer

What with 80-90% of my lawn being dead and brown it's probably been at least 6 weeks since it was mowed, if not a full two months. Unfortunately the 10-20% of my lawn that isn't dead and brown is made up of weeds, including crab grass. Which has gotten a little out of control in a few spots (what with me writing the lawn off and ignoring it now). So off to Ace I went Sunday afternoon to pick up a toxic chemical solution to my problems. This crabgrass killer even has a battery powered wand that dispenses the poison! Convenient and deadly.

See also: Sprinkler, Lawnmower

7/9/2012: Hose & Reel

I hate this hose and the reel doesn't really help either... "never kink" my ass.

7/8/2012: Sprinkler

Oh... the lawn should be green? Time to get out sprinkler I guess.

See also: Green Hose, Red Hose

6/4/2012: Miracle Grow Feeder Nozzle

Picked up a second Miracle Grow feeder nozzle for the garden in the back yard. Didn't want to keep detaching and reattaching the one I had in the front yard to water my window boxes.

See also: Green Hose, Red Hose

5/22/2012: Green Hose

Picked up this green hose at Ace Hardware over the weekend. I planted some window boxes and pots at the front of my house and this year I've decided to try and keep my plants from dying. Which means I have to actually water them. To make that easier, I'm just leaving this coiled hose attached on the side of the house. The window well serves as convenient storage.

See also: Red Hose

5/21/2012: Red Hose

I use this red hose to water the vegetable garden in the back yard. It's coiled so it it doesn't need to be wound up when I'm done using it, shrinks back on its own. The nozzle needs to be replaced, has a crack in the side so squirts out water the wrong way. I guess leaving it sitting on the window sill outside all winter wasn't a good idea...

See also: Green Hose

5/13/2012:Trowel

5/9/2012: Tiller

5/5/2012: Hedge Trimmers

So I'm trimming the hedges, dog barking at me (well, at the hedge trimmers) and I'm thinking to myself "OK, better be careful I'm getting close to the ca..." and before I can finish the word with the "-ble" the trimmers cut right through the it. Oops. Could only laugh at myself. And then the panic set in. No TV?!?! NO INTERNET??!?!?! Time for an Amish Saturday night.

See Also: Things the dog hates; cable splicing kit

4/21/2012: Lawnmower

I hate my lawnmower, and not in the way most people hate their lawnmowers. I hate my lawnmower for sucking. The thing broke down and had to be serviced after being less than a year old. Then it broke down again after another summer of use. I spent all last year borrowing my parents' mower because I refused to take mine in for servicing because I was pissed at it for not working. Which I realize is completely nonsensical, but there it is. This year I've just been paying somebody to mow my lawn for me. The best thirty bucks I spend every couple weeks. Because as I drive around and see other people mowing their lawns, they all look absolutely miserable doing it. Nobody enjoys the task. Nobody wakes up on a Saturday morning and thinks "Thank god the weekend is here now I get to mow the lawn!" I used to spend the entire time I was mowing repeatedly muttering the f-word under my breath. But no more. I've freed myself from lawn duty. So maybe I should thank my mower for sucking. If it didn't I'd be one of those miserable bastards too.

4/19/2012: Shovel

This shovel, according to my dad, is "a good shovel." He was quite taken with it at one point, liked the weight and feel of it. Me? I primarily use it as a scoop when I'm experiencing one of the great joys of dog ownership, doody duty.

See also: Bucket

3/25/2012: Lawn Funnel

3/24/2012: Rake

Is there anything more exciting than getting a brand new rake??? I hope your answer to that question is a resounding "YES!!!", otherwise your life kind of makes me sad. If the pinnacle of your existence is a lunch-hour trip to Wal Mart to purchase a new rake because the one you have has a wobbly head that makes it difficult to work with than you need to find some new interests. 

While a rake isn't particularly exiting, it's a necessity. At least it is if you plan on doing any raking in the yard. For some reason I seem to have been inspired this spring to clean up my yard. My approach to spring time clean-up before was essentially "Mehhh... the leaves will get chopped up when I mow, leaf 'em where they are." (Even when I'm being lazy and avoiding work I can still throw a good pun into my internal monologue)

3/11/2012: Bucket

Everyone that has a dog probably has a bucket like this in the yard. This is the doody duty bucket. One of the true joys of dog ownership.